My Tedtalk Recommendation for the Week S1E02
“The Profound Power of an Authentic Apology” by Eve Ensler.
I am a big fan of the Star Wars franchise and there’s a quote I particularly love from the green beanie creature, Master Yoda and he said “….fear leads to anger and anger leads to hate.....” This 6mins talk Eve Ensler is a real eye opener which I believe will be of great impact if you give it a listen
What spurred this Talk?
Eve Ensler was abused at a young age by her father and like every normal victim would feel, she was sad and angry and lost a part of herself. Remember anger brings hate, thus she was drawn to bad people who treated her badly. She kept on waiting on her father to apologize which he did not
Why this Talk?
The author, which is myself believes that act of apology should be done with commitment irrespective of the degree of hurt. I believe we can all learn the value and honesty that comes with apology. It demands a deep self interrogation and time and yes it cannot be rushed.
Eve explained the 4 processes of tendering a genuine apology (which I will not disclose to you, rather click on the Link https://bit.ly/30XBJ2Pk to listen) 😁
These steps helps both the victim and the assailant to heal. An apology is a remembering, it connects the past with the future and the earlier we embrace this “gruelling and humble” process of apology, it sets us free because as an assailant you didn’t just destroy your victim, you destroyed yourself.
The steps in summary are
- Say what happened in details, this connect the past with the present
- Ask yourself “why?”
- Open your heart and feel the impact of your hurt.
- Take responsibility for your actions and make amends
How to incorporate
The art of apologizing is a tremendous step to tearing up your suppressed feelings. It can be hard, but it’s necessary. Each time I listen to Eve, I understand better the essence of going through the process of apology. I believe this is something we should all imbibe. At your place of work, with friends, social gatherings, etc.
When you know you have offended a person, instead of hardening your heart and trying your best to justify your wrong actions. Take a seat, listen to this Tedtalk, write down the 4 steps to apology and follow through with them.
You do not want to be wandering about the face of the earth with a taunting experience of how deep you hurt someone and knowing you never had the courage to tender your sincere apologies.
There’s no one who acts in violence on another person who doesn’t suffer from the effects themselves. It creates a dark Spirit that spreads through your entire life
This Tedtalk was specifically addressed to men, especially with regards to sexual abuses and violence and I must tell you Eve alongside every other beautiful women out there wants us to be better. We should stand up to our faults, open our hearts to understand the pain that has been caused and most importantly amend.
Lastly, like she said “we don’t hate men, we only want them to apologize and amend their ways”
Final Take
Go through the week and try to recollect the little instances you’ve hurt people around you. Go through those steps and kill your pride and you liberate yourself with the power of an authentic apology.
Take care. 🤗
